The Asian man is a bit of an underdog in the modern dating world. While he possesses many qualities that might help him to be a good husband, these qualities are often overlooked by women who are initially looking for hot dating material, not husbands. You, as an Asian man, need to understand the feelings that women have towards men like you and then recognize how to empower yourself towards better dating progress. Whether you want to sleep with a hundred women or find that perfect soul mate, it all starts by making yourself more attractive to women in general.
Sadly, in this MTV world, scientific studies have shown that the Asian man is largely ignored on the dating scene, even by Asian women. One well-known study found that women of all races are the least sexually interested in Asian males out of all the races – they prefer whites, blacks, Latinos – anyone but the Asian male. This is even true of Asian females, who themselves tend to prefer men who are not Asian. Even when this study controlled for physical attractiveness, looking only at Asian guys who were considered empirically attractive, Asian males were still furthest down on the preference list for all races of women, except Asian women who, when attractiveness was controlled for, Asian women then put Asian males on an equal level with men of other races. Interestingly, a similar study of what races men find attractive revealed that men do not care about the race of the female as long as the woman was smoking hot. Men want hot women. Women want, well, non-Asian men.
You might wonder, what exactly is the type of Asian man who women naturally and unconsciously do find to be irresistibly attractive and sexy? What are the traits that most women look for in a male sex object? I’ll get to that in this series of articles.
But I need to lay the groundwork first. A crucial distinction to keep in mind as we begin here is between universally attractive traits and narrowly attractive traits. Narrowly attractive traits appeal only to a small subset of women. However, universally attractive traits appeal to almost all women. Of course, you want to appeal to the most women possible so I’m going to focus mostly on universally attractive traits.
For instance, a couple of my own narrowly attractive traits include being scholarly and relatively well traveled. These two traits are not attractive to all (or even most) women. Believe me, I know. Most narrowly attractive traits track stereotypical character types, such as the tortured artist, the jock, the cowboy, the bodybuilder, the tattooed man, the long haired metal head, the wild party animal, the dangerous bad boy with a criminal record, and even for some girls, the “Asian guy.” Sure, there are women who like these things, but the traits do not appeal to most women.
What are some examples of universally attractive traits? We now need to distinguish between passionate attraction and companionate attraction. Passionate attractive is the sort of raw sexual energy that can lead to short-term sexual relations. Companionate attraction is the more stable attachment found in long-term mating and companionship.
In terms of companionate attraction, research in various branches of psychology, sociology, and evolutionary biology has highlighted several traits that human women universally value in long-term mates. You can probably guess what they are because they match popular notions of male-female attraction. Going by just one such list, these companionate attraction traits include economic capacity, high social status, being of an age older than hers, ambition and industriousness, dependability and stability, intelligence, compatibility, size and strength, good health, and the displaying of love and commitment.
But companionate attraction isn’t really the problem we want to solve here. Many Asian men would make wonderful husbands and fathers, and women know that. The real problem is how to attract beautiful women before they are looking to settle down with a stable, responsible husband or the proverbial nice guy. We want to learn how to trigger in our dating partners that passionate desire that makes them want to rip our clothes off and jump us for sex. Besides, it is always easier to move from the lover category into the provider role than vice versa. Many of the companionate attraction traits overlap with those of passionate attraction, especially health, wealth, and status, as women tend (usually unconsciously) to perceive these as reliable indications of power, which is, as Kissinger famously remarked, “the greatest aphrodisiac.”
What are the universally attractive traits that ignite passionate attraction in women?
While power is certainly chief among them, it is far too broad and general to be of much use. Telling you to get in the best physical shape you can, make the most money possible, and climb to the highest social status attainable is slightly more specific advice. But these are probably things you already know.
In any case, luring a woman in is one thing, but keeping her around for the long-term is something else entirely. Of course, it would behoove you to develop in yourself as many of those long-term companionate attraction traits as you can, especially health, wealth, and status, so that once you snag your dream girl and you hit that turning point where you transition into a long-term relationship, you will be ready to take up your new role superbly. I will take those as a given. Not all of us can have bodies like Brad Pitt, wealth like Bill Gates, and status like Barack Obama. And we don’t want to have to join the Attraction Arms Race, competing with all the other men out there on these conventional factors. There will always be some other guy you will meet who is better looking than you, has more money than you, or has a higher social status than you. So, how do we circumvent the whole dead-end Attraction Arms Race? We ensure that we possess and exhibit the five basic traits that make a man–specifically, an Asian man–sexy to women.
These five key character traits are universally attractive to women and result in passionate sexual attraction. These five key traits are especially important for the typical Asian man to cultivate in himself. They separate the special category of the Sexually Attractive Asian Man from the rest of the pack. They will help bring you sexual fulfillment in the short term and emotional fulfillment in the long term. As a Sexually Attractive Asian Man, you will be equipped to get what you want sexually. This means dating (a lot), having sex (often), and eventually finding a life partner to ride off into the sunset with (for good). The Sexually Attractive Asian Man exhibits the following traits and is:
- A Leader. You have trained yourself to weigh the relevant factors, make snap decisions, and deal with the consequences. While you may have formal recognition through rank, status, or position, you do not rely on external recognition to inspire and lead others. You take into account the opinions and desires of others, but ultimately, you draw your own conclusions and waste no time in doing so. I will expand on this concept in later articles.
- Assertive. You speak up for yourself and those under your leadership. You do not hide behind a false Asian modesty. Rather, you believe that others, including your seniors, want to hear your ideas. You also do not tolerate disrespect from others. You are aggressive and persistent in pursuit of your goals. In social settings, you are friendly and cordial but also dominant and commanding. You freely approach women you want to meet. I will overview how important it is to be an assertive male in upcoming articles.
- Adventurous. You welcome risk and danger. You are unpredictable and have a love of spontaneous fun. You live life to the hilt and push experiences to the edge. I will discuss your role as the adventurous male in upcoming articles.
- Easygoing. You are easygoing, which means that you don’t take yourself too seriously. You readily laugh at yourself and are the first to chuckle at your own foibles. While you are able to discern when and how to be serious about grave topics and to appreciate the consequences of your actions and decisions, you still often see the humor in everyday situations, especially when the situation involves you or your ego. I will cover the importance of you showing an easygoing personality when we get to the articles on How to be Easygoing.
- Sexual. You have no sexual hang-ups and are comfortable with your views on sex and relationships. You are secure in your own self-image and with your body. And you are at ease talking with women about sexual subjects. We will discuss your comfort with sexuality in depth in future articles.
Through the remainder of this series, I will help you recognize, understand and internalize the personality traits that are necessarily a part of the masculine, sexualized Asian male. You will learn how the Asian asexual stereotype developed over generations, including how ancient Asian males were much more masculinized and romantically successful, and how you can harness that to build your own sexual power. You will learn how you are not limited to your cultural heritage, but are also bound to your genetic, evolutionary heritage. You will learn how developing independence can help you uncover your own leadership, assertiveness, adventurous nature, easy going personality, and sexuality.
Come back soon to read the rest of this series!